When lines between love and friendship blur
by loudestdork
Summary: so, basically, this is in Britt POV. at talks about her childhood moments with Santana. how and what they are.
1. Chapter 1

**hello. uhm.. Glee is not mine. that's all..**

**i'm kinda nervous with this one actually..  
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><p>I'm not dumb. I just act like dumb because I don't want to be different. It's my choice. No one makes choices for me it's sorta weird honestly. The people who were saying that someone had been deciding for me are the one that's dumb because they believe in something that isn't true. They don't know the real me so they don't have the right to tell me what is wrong and what is right. Only one person knows the real me and she's the only person who could judge me from the things that I've been doing. And yeah vice versa.<p>

We were friends since forever. I met her when I was four and I think I'm 20 days older than her. We met in a play pen.. she was crying because her mom left her. I was too, but I didn't cry. I'm brave! I was curious about the girl so I want to her.

_"hi!" I started. "why are you crying?" I asked, but she didn't answer she just continue to cry her heart out. I even thought that she was deaf or something. "HEY! I'M BRITTANY!" I shouted._

_"I heard you." She said with a small voice, but she still didn't look up._

_"so… what's your name?" I asked giddily. I don't know why I wanted to meet this kid. Maybe because I was enticed with her long jet black hair. Err.. I don't really know._

_She didn't answer or I just think she didn't. so I asked her again. "I'm Brittany, what's yours?"_

_"Santana" her voice was so soft, so I didn't really heard what she said._

_"yay!" I clapped my hands "nice to meet you Sana!"_

_"Santana" she said._

_"what?" I look at her again. _

_"my name. Santana" she then look up and I think I was hypnotized. Her eyes were like chocolate fountain in Willy Wonka's movie. It looks so delicious._

_"what are you looking at?" she ask. She's shy!_

_"your eyes.. it looks like chocolates.. I want to eat." I exclaimed._

_She just nod. "I have chocolate in my bag." She said._

_"yay! We're friends now."I exclaimed. _

_"ok." She said. I took her hands and link our pinkies._

_"hmmn.. you're my best friend now." She smiled. "you look cute when you smile."_

And that's how we became friends and from then on… we became inseparable. Hmmn.. do you know that it's not me that likes ducks first? It is her. She have this necklace with a duck pendant. I told her that it was beautiful, then she asked me if I want it and I nodded, so, she gave me it to me. And everytime I see a duck it always makes me happy because I remember how san would giggle whenever she see a duck, real or not. There was one time when we were six years old…

_My family and hers went in a picnic near the pond. The two of us went for a walk with our pinkies interlocked. We were looking at the pond when a mother duck comes out from the water and the baby duckies march behind the mother duck. It's like they were playing follow the leader. That's when Santana squeal from the top of her lungs._

_"DUCKS!" San rushed towards the ducks with her tugging me. But unfortunately, I stumbled and fell on the ground. I got some wounds on my knees but I didn't cry, because I know San will be sad._

_"Britt Britt" she said. "I'm sorry Britt Britt. I will never go to the ducks. Are you okay? She said._

_I nod._

_"I'm sorry Britt Britt." I look up at her and she looks like she was about to cry. She was clutching the hem of her dress looking at me with those teary eyes of her whilst biting her lips to prevent the tears from falling. She's so adorable._

_"Don't cry San." I said. "look I'm ok" I stand up. "OUCH!"_

_"I'm sorry." She said then she start crying. She's such a cry baby.. and that makes her more adorable._

_"c'mon! let's go and see the ducks." I said whilst putting an arm around her shoulders. I was about to walk when I noticed that she wasn't even moving and she was just staring on the ground. "c'mon San! Let's go."_

_"I don't want to. You hurt yourself because of me." She said still staring on the ground._

_"I'm okay! Look I could even jump!" I jump. The wound still hurts but I don't want to let her see it. I don't want to see her cry._

_"let's just go to mama."_

_"okay." We then go back to our parents. "smile now." She gave me a timid smile. "nah.. I don't want that smile.. you won't smile? I'm going to tickle you.."_

_"NO! I'll smile now.. okay? Just don't tickle me."_

_She smiled. But I still tickle her._

_"I don't want to see the ducks!" she exclaimed again. She blame the ducks. She blame the ducks and herself because I got myself hurt. _

After that, she began to hate ducks but I didn't. Ducks reminds me of her laugh, squeal, and her adorable face when I got wounded. And even if she hide it, whenever we go to the pond, her eyes would light up.. and that only happens before I start chasing her with a duckling on my hands.

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><p><strong>SO? <strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**hello. uhm.. Glee is not mine. that's all..**

**thank you for the good words.. :)  
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><p>I miss San, it's been a long time since I last saw her and I feel that my chest tightens whenever I miss her. I remember one time we didn't see each other. It's so sad really.<p>

_We were 7 and Santana didn't attend the class. I missed her. I wonder where she is. Santana doesn't do absents, so it is unusual for her not to be here. It's really sad that she's not around. It is like something is missing on my daily routine. The time pass and it's time for me to go home._

_My fetch me in school. I sat on the front seat like a robot. I was gloomy that day and mom noticed it._

_"honey, why so sad?" she inquire._

_"Santy is not in school today." I said whilst putting my bag in the passenger seat, then, I noticed a basket of fruits. "mom, we still have loads of fruits at home. Why did you buy a basket?"_

_"it's not for us honey, Santana is sick, so we're going to visit her." Mom said._

_"Sick? San is sick? Is she okay?" I don't know how I got so worried about her that time. It's like I'm such a young girl that time and being worried about someone is somewhat the last thing I should do, but when it comes to San.. it's different._

_We arrived at Lopez's household after 15 minutes and I immediately unbuckle my seatbelt and rush towards the door. I knocked 3 times, but no one's opening the door yet. I was tapping my foot and folded my arms in front of me. "_auntie, hurry please. I need to San already._" I thought. I was about to knock on the door again when it opened. It was Aunt Callie –San's aunt._

_"Brittany! What—"_

_"where is San aunt Callie?" I interrupt._

_"she's upstairs in her room with her mother"_

_"oh, okay!" I was about to rush in her room when I heard my name being called by my mom, that's when I remembered that I arrived here with mom._

_"want to bring some oranges and apples to Santana?" I nod. Mom went to the kitchen and sliced some apples and oranges and after long 5 minutes of waiting, she's done. I did a mad dash towards Santana's room.. well not really, I was holding a plate of apples and oranges after all._

_"San!" I exclaimed. And there she was, looking so adorable as ever. Her cheeks were flushed, well because she's sick. Duh! And she's tucked in her bed with loads of blanket._

_"britt." She said with a little smile on her face._

_"Are you okay?" she nods. But I know she's not. Haha._

_"ohI brought you these." I said whilst showing the apples and oranges._

_"ehem"_

_"oh! Auntie. Hello." Guess what. AWKWARD! I didn't even notice aunt Maria_

_"I'd leave the two of you here alright? And Britt, don't be too near, you don't want to get sick too. Okay?"_

_"okay." I said. But as soon as the door close, I climbed Santana's bed and sit beside her._

_"Britt, you heard mama." She scolded me._

_"don't care. Here eat this." I said, putting an apple infront of her. She did take a bite only it's so little. "I miss you, you know"_

_"I miss you too Britt Britt."_

_"it's different, without you in school. It's like something is missing."_

_"I know." She said, then I fed her again with apples, whilst me eating the oranges._

_I talked about how sad my day is and how boring it was because she was not around, told her that I ate alone because I don't want to join the other kids because they're not her. Then, I noticed that she's sleeping already. May be she's too tired. So I put the plate on her nighstand and lay beside her._

_"rest well San." Then I kissed her on the forehead and sleep as well._

We slept well that time. I didn't catch her illness which is good and the next day, San went to school again. Oh wait, have I ever told you how beautiful Santana's voice is? Oh, if you I don't sorry and if you don't know.. well I guess you missed a good time to have an eargasm then. I'm her number one fan actually and the president of her fans club. Hmmn.. I fist heard her sing when we were 8 years old.

_We were walking hand in hand when she heard a song. It was 'viva forever' of Spice Girls._

_"I like this song Britt Britt!" she said jumping. I joined her because I love the song too. Then she started singing the chorus._

**_Hasta Manana Always be mine  
>Viva Forever I'll be waiting<br>Everlasting Like the sun  
>Live Forever for the moment<br>Ever searching for the world_**

_"wow! Your voice is beautiful!" I exclaimed. She just bowed her head and muttered a soft 'thank you'. "I want you to sing more, please?" she nodded. So while walking hand in hand, she sung some songs, mostly from Spice Girls since we both love the group. We stopped in a park and waited for Aunt Callie to pick us there. It was her schedule to fetch us. I love it when San's aunt picks us because she would treat us some ice cream and would play before we go home._

_"you know," I started. "when I grow up.. I wanna be like baby spice."_

_"really?" she asked._

_"yeah. You? Who you want to be?"_

_"uhm.. I like posh. Either posh or sporty would be nice. But I like posh more." She explained._

_After couple of minutes, Aunt Callie arrived. She's with her bestfriend Allie.. Alzona.. ah! Arizona. They treat us some ice cream, and they also bought us some cotton candy before going home. Like San and I, Aunt Callie and her bestfriend walked with their hands intertwined. Yay! We're really bestfriend._

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><p><strong>what yah think?<br>**


	3. Chapter 3

**yay! hello.. another one. until the last one.. :)) haha.. take care everyone..**

**GLEE! not mine.**

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><p>The first time San and I well.. plus Q had our sleep over when we were 9. I missed those times actually, that we would watch Disney movies and talk about different things, like anything and everything under the sun. From fairytales to aliens. And when we got older we would talk about the nerds and the hottest people we know, we will rate the hottest people and laugh afterwards because we always end up 1, 2, and 3 in the list.<p>

_"San, I asked my mom if it's okay if you and Quinn have a sleep over in our house and she said yes.. so.. can you?"_

_"why?" she asked._

_"I just want to, I have big bed and nice room. We could have a good time there." I said._

_"uh.. I'm going to ask mama first." She answered._

_"uh.. okay.. by the way, I asked Quinn and she said yes and her mom would just drop her in our house."_

_"oh.." hah! Way to convince her more.. good job Brittany!_

_"and, I think Auntie would allow you, she love me, she'll say yes." I said proudly._

_"you're full of yourself sometimes Britt." She countered._

_"you love me though!"_

_"I do." She said._

_As soon as the class starts, it also ended too soon. And like what I've said earlier.. Aunt Maria loves me because later that night she dropped Santana in the house._

_"San!" I hugged her as If there's no tomorrow._

_"air… Britt.. air!" she said breathlessly so I freed her._

_"hi Q." San said acknowledging our new friend._

_"hi." She said shyly._

_We met Q when San and I had some random walk in the park. She was alone looking at the pond. Me and San look at each other. We have this telepathic power that with one look, we knew already what the other was saying. We approached her, talked and play with her. And that's how we became friends. And now, she's here with us._

_"So, what are we gonna do?" San asked._

_"We'll watch some Disney movies!" I said, then looked at Q who just nod in agreement._

_"well, since Q here is new.. let her pick the movie then." San said. I was about to argue because I want to pick the movie but when I was about to protest Q was already holding my favourite Disney movie—"Little Mermaid". when it start, we all just look at the screen and didn't speak. We were in the middle of our third movie (Lion King) when I fell asleep—well, the three of us actually. I remember waking up with San holding my hands and my head is resting on her shoulder, San's head was on Q's while Q's were resting on San's head. It was cute. After 3 days, mom surprised me with a picture frame with a picture of us sleeping peacefully with the same position when I woke up._

Oh well, San? She's not really mean. People think she's a bad person but she's not. She always have these walls around her, she has this façade to mask who she really is, and I perfectly understand it, she made me understand it. She hates it when people look and act as if you're some piece of shit that needed to be thrown away. San doesn't care about her status, she pretend to care because.. I quote "We live in a world full of pretensions and it is fulfilling if you would be able to show that you are different. But this place is a crap wherein we are boxed in their perfect world and we need to act perfect." I remember when we were 10, she tried to be different. She became Dexter ('s Laboratory) clone, I mean not the looks but in brain.

_San was a bright kid, teachers knew it. Well, I do too and Quinn too. she usually teach me and Quinn when we have some difficulty in understanding some things. She even joined some competitions and kicked the ass of the higher ups. It was good, San was pure genius and the students kept on bullying her because of that, usually the insecure higher ups would. One day, the three of us were walking when three higher ups pushed San._

_"Nerd!" yell the Blonde one._

_"Weirdo!" Said the one that look like Ursula in Little Mermaid._

_"Go back to your laboratory, FREAK!" said the leader—I think. She's pretty but she's a devil in disguise._

_I was about to go and kick their asses but San stopped me._

_"Britt, there's no use in fighting them. You'll just waste your time and energy."_

_"right Britt. They're some bunch of nothing." Said Q._

_"Right! Listen to your Freak Bestfriend, Stupid!" said the leader of the higher ups. I looked at San and I saw her scowling and giving a death glare (that I once saw Aunt Maria gave to Aunt Callie. I never thought San could sport that kind of look maybe it runs in the blood.)_

_"what did you just say?" uh oh.. this is the first time I heard San like this.. _

_"what that you are a freak or that your best friend is STUPID?" the girl said with a mocking tone._

_"you'll regret what you have said." She muttered. Q and I were the only one who heard it because the girl were laughing with her friends like hyenas. Before I could even react Santana already slapped the girl._

_"no one dares to talk to Brittany like that." her voice drips with venom._

_"did you just slap me?" the girl said. Shocked._

_"YUP! SURE DID!" and before she knew it, she was backhanded by Santana. San even grabbed a handful of hair and pushed the girl on the wall. The girl might be tall and could towered San but Santana is stronger. The others were about to react when Santana looked at them with her death glare as if saying.. "DON'T YOU FUCKIN' DARE." So, they just stopped on their tracks. San then looked at the girl lying on the floor and gave her some tongue lash._

_"Look here insecurity freak, you can call me names if you want, but don't you fucking dare say things about Brittany and if I hear one.. just one insult coming from you, I myself would gladly rip those tongues of yours. Entiendes? And I don't care if yer higher ups or whatsoever.. I'm stronger, brainer, and prettier that you. So keep your feet down."_

_With that, San grab Q and I's hands and walked away. The next day, the news spread immediately and while the three of us walking, the crowd parted as if we are Moses and they're the red sea. San became the grade school HBIC and the achiever as well._

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><p><strong>what yah think?<br>**


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